Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Half a world away

I never moved as a child, but because I grew up in a "military town" people were always coming in and out. I remember attending many farewell parties and pot-lucks for families in our church who were reassigned to new places. Towards the end of the gatherings, the family would join together and share about the new place that they were headed. Tears would be shed, but I don't ever remember seeing terror in the eyes of the children. Sadness? Of course, but not really confusion. Why? I'm assuming that the parents prepared them. "Your school will look similar to the one you attend now" and "Our new house has three bedrooms instead of two and you can bring your favorite toys."

This does relate to Y, I promise.

After she changed orphanages in August, we started to get a bit sad wondering about how she is doing in her new place and how she is handling the loss of the only family that she has ever known (with plenty of "good-enough" mothers to love and care for her).

Our referral photo was oh-so-sad.

Our update photo yesterday was cute in it's own way, but the message was sad. She plays mostly alone. She is quiet (please refer to older posts to know that this is NOT the Y we know!) and kinda withdrawn.

I'm wondering a lot about her next move. Here. To Chicago. How's that gonna be? I'm so excited with a healthy dose of scared shitless thrown in for good measure. Wondering what Y knows, comprehends and is thinking.

7 comments:

Mark and Heidi said...

Oh, poor little thing. This will be such a wonderful new life for her with all the love and attention she is lacking now. Parental love is one of the most basic primal instincts and from what I've seen, these kids catch on pretty quickly. Hoping and praying for a smooth transition for all of you!

Rebecca said...

She already loves you! I think she will be so happy to be with you and to have your constant attention. Of course, it's going to be very difficult for her and for you. But if anyone can soothe her heart it is you two.

one + one said...

Certainly has been a big year for you and Y.

Thinking of her every day and hoping, praying for happiness now and a positive transition to life in Chicago.

Jonathan, Stacy, & Peter Peterson said...

Just think she has the blessing of already KNOWING who you are and spending time with you. The people matter far more than the place :)

But, I am with ya- I'd be pretty scared too for the unknown and a major adjustment. Call me, I miss you guys!

CB said...

Thinking of you and Y.
We have had the same thoughts, here. Our little one was so sad in her referral pics. and now is SO HAPPY-I am so afraid of her reaction to being handed to us...I pray every day that she will find peace quickly.
Hope we both hear good news in the upcoming weeks.

los cazadores said...

So glad you got an update photo though!

I hope you are not stressing too much, but I know its been a long journey for you, R. (And N and Y.) I feel like I know you even though we've never met.

Thinking of you lots. I have your court date written on my calendar.

Cindy

Jen said...

I can't wait to see her nestled into her family. Can I remind you that we did not get a smiling picture of Bella for the entire time we were waiting (6m). I did get pics of her crying and of her looking ill, and then I got tons of neutral pics. All I heard was she did not talk alot, she seemed quiet, or sad...or whatever....She is so great....she smiles all the time, she talks about as much as she smiles....just you wait. Y is processing....but just you wait...she will simply thrive when she is in her family.