To market I should go

Ever since we got our court date, the thought that Y will actually be living and breathing in our house has become so real in our minds that sometimes I am overwhelmed. Our defense mechanism for the last year has been "well, we don't really know when things will happen." While that is still true, at least we have some kind of date (that would be November 18th, 2009 in case you forgot). And that makes me think only one thing: holy shnikes we have a TON to do! Good thing I am taking time out of my busy schedule to blog and eat veggie chicken nuggets at midnight! If you name your fears/stresses, doesn't that help them to go away? That's what I'm going with, so here is the list of things we need to do:
1. Choose a middle name for Y
2. Buy a bed/totally make her entire room AMAZING! :)
3. I actually can't think of a number 3, but you can see how 1 and 2 are fairly consuming.

Presently Y owns the following items:
1. "I *heart* MJ t-shirt
2. Colorful Nike's from Aunt J
3. Books from Nanna Main
4. A rug from the Amish peeps in Wisconsin
5. Rocking chair from WR garage sale
6. Cabbage Patch Kid and blocks from Amanda
7. About $20 worth of cute sale clothes from the Gap purchased by myself and N.

What else do you need for a 3 year old? Anything? :) Your thoughts on this issue will be greatly coveted!

Referral

Y was finally and officially referred to us today! (Just to remind everyone we have been patiently waiting for this moment for, um...awhile) It has been a long journey, people. Judging from the looks Y shared with us via her referral photos, things have been tough for her lately too! We did glean some new information from her paperwork:
Her birth date is August 3rd (August is THE birthday month in my family and extended family)
She needs to put on some weight (and we were worried about her candy consumption)
The spellings of her name are as varied as Bjork's wardrobe choices.

Summary:
Gladney (our adoption agency) is now working on our case.
Our paperwork will be submitted for a court date.
Our court date will come at an unknown, but hopefully soon, date!

Things are good!

Sidist

I enjoyed a lovely Ethiopian Easter Sunday in Asco in April. It was the first time in a long time that I have felt a sense of life while being in church. Worshiping (although I did not understand everything) in a congregation of children was a joy to be apart of. I could not help but think that perhaps this was what church truly should be. A place for orphans, the sick (all have HIV, but they sure don't "act" sick) and those who love and care for them.

I came across this photo today and happily remembered this day in April (Y "sat" in the service with me but kept screaming that she wanted candy, so I had to take her out early). I choose this photo to mark our 6th month of wait list life (4/1/09).

Come quickly referral. Come quickly.

Now what?

This post is for you Dr KS!
In a phone call yesterday she said "well, you caught the lion. what now? are you going to blog about what's next?"

I guess we don't really know what is next. Unless everyone wants the weekly details of which pieces of paper have been moved and signed by whom, nothing really happens until we have a court date. According to my deeply scientific calculations gathered by intensive evenings of blog stalking, it appears that people receiving referrals in Aug/September didn't have court dates until late December. Hmmm. That would mean travel in early Jan and home mid Jan.

Again, very deeply scientific.

In the meantime, this is what is up: We painted and furnished our office and did some other random house repairs. When I say "we," I think you might know what I really mean. N returns to work (school) on Wed, and I have started some new tasks in my current job. In addition to anxiously awaiting our departure for Ethio, we are looking forward to Labor Day camping, fall canning, camping with kids from my work, running a half marathon, participating in a wedding, coaching the first ever cross country team for N's school and Canadian Thanksgiving (supremely better than "real" Thanksgiving because all of your friends can come over since it isn't an American holiday!

That's that.

We have caught the lion!

"When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion". (Der biyaber anbeussa yasser)
---Ethiopian proverb (Amharic)

We were repeatedly told that the adoption of Y would not work.
The Sisters at Asco prayed and worked so, so, very hard for her.
We made two trips to Ethiopia.
Her smiling face and insane antics kept us going.
You all walked with us and thought of us.


We have caught the lion!
"The" letter has been signed, sealed and delivered. We received the news about 20 mins ago!

What are the next steps:
The letter will be sent to the regional authorities who are actually below the authorities who wrote the first letter. (One week)
Paperwork goes to Gladney in Ethiopia (One week)
Gladney gives us the referral of Y (this is laughable to us, really)
Court date scheduled
Once we pass court, we will fly to Ethiopia. (Maybe November??)

Yippie!

No need for speed (And the creek did rise!)

Relax my readers!

News will not be coming today.

Or tomorrow.

Or next week.

Perhaps in two weeks.

Our man has decided to extend his annual vacation by two weeks and thus cannot write us the ever important letter.

Whatcha gonna do?

Waiting on the world to change...

No news here!

N called this morning with the report that we have no news to report! The good news is that the Sisters have learned some interesting information in regards to Y's situation and they feel very equipped to make the application for her. After receiving additional information on Friday, they are choosing to make the report sometime later this week!

I can't say that I am feeling totally positive, but I am also not wallowing in a pit of despair! I have so appreciated the e-mails, phone calls, text messages, comments and general support from all of you! Thank you for following our story and for caring about Y!

I had to force myself to be engaged while at work today! Being present is so super hard when your mind in 7000 miles away! I had a wonderful weekend visiting a long time friend, having dinner with another and catching up on sleep and phone calls. My goal for this week is to try and be a bit more present and less focused on things that I cannot control! Wish me luck in that venture!

We still seek your thoughts and prayers for Y this week!

Adoption Update and Vicarious Living

N has been in Ethiopia for just under a week now, and I already feel so much more connected to what is going on with Y! I am insanely happy that N is able to see Y everyday and that I am getting so many wonderful updates! They are together on the same compound every day and spend several hours playing together in the evenings. (The story of what she did when she saw N will be saved for the day that we can announce to the blogosphere that she is ours forever.)Every morning (11pm Chicago time) N hikes to the top of the hill to get cell phone reception and we chat. I can hear the buses passing by and sometimes even get to chat with someone I know who passes by. It is lovely and makes me heart just a little bit sad, but I am also so thankful that N can be with Y during this time of waiting.

About that: Although Y has lived in the orphanage for over 2.5 years, and no relatives have been able to be identified, she has not been granted "abandonment status" and we thus wait. The Sisters will be headed once again to the powers-that-be to advocate for this status to be given to her. This will occur on Monday. Inshallah we will hear something positive and we can FINALLY move forward. I really don't want to think of the possibility of this not happening. If you are reading this post now, please pray for some good news on this front. Updates from N only serve to remind me that I so desperately want Y to be apart of our family and cannot imagine it otherwise.

Should she receive the necessary documentation this week, the process is still long but POSSIBLE! If she is denied, we will need to keep waiting and asking. I am filling my time this weekend with fun stuff in order to forget about the waiting time! Heading to visit a special friend who I have not seen in over a year! Should be fun!

What to do?

The blogging drought has been directly tied to our feelings of sadness lately regarding our adoption. As I mentioned before, we are attempting to adopt a child that we know from Ethiopia. A precious child. A 2.5 year old little girl with a personality to rival all personalities. Loud, bossy (even for a two year old), full of life and curiosity, active and everything we could ever hope for all wrapped into a bundle of total and complete cuteness. I work with really cute kids in my job and am frequently accused of saying that so and so is the "cutest kid in the whole world..." Y really IS the cutest kid in the whole world. And her sing-song voice screaming phrases in Amharic like "Me, Me Me," "I refuse" and "give me" makes her all the more appealing! She is all two year old and we are totally in love!

We started the adoption process at the end of August 2008 and really thought that because we would not be waiting for a referral, things would fly so quickly...and they really did. However, in January, we found out that she may not be adoptable. We really had a hard time accepting this news and kept getting mixed information between the orphanage and our agency. So, in April, I (and my lovely friend) went to visit for three glorious weeks. We played with her, learned more about that aforementioned amazing personality and feel deeper in love. The trip was super worthwhile. In addition to always loving the chance to visit Ethiopia, N and I really did get a clear idea of what her adoption situation is.

May was a hard month. Fresh from my trip to see her, she was real and alive in our hearts and minds in a way that was deeper than before. We watched her videos, stared at her picture and I even hear her voice in my head a lot...(do what you will with that information).

Several particularly hard things occurred in May that have lead us to believe that her adoption may not be possible for a long time, if ever:
1. The closure of adoption for abandoned children (pending further investigation) in Addis. She would be in the category.
2. Our agency contacted us to state that they have not had any luck getting the final necessary documents needed for her (and it appears that they will not be able to).

Baring a total and complete miracle (which we are really open to happening and hope, hope, hope that it will), we do not anticipate that Y will be able to join our family. Our hearts are really breaking.

What does this mean for us and adoption? We really don't know.
What does this mean for Y? That is maybe one of the hardest parts....she does not have family caring for her and she cannot be adopted. She will stay in the orphanage.
What will our interaction with Y be in the future? We will ALWAYS remain open to adopting her should she be adoptable. We are not sure what our interaction with her should be in the meantime. We want to protect her from greater hurt and feelings of loss and abandonment.

N will spend 5/6 weeks in Addis in July/Aug. We hope to learn more then, but do not anticipate that the outcome will change at this time.........That's all the news from here!

PS: We are ok. We are so sad, but hanging in there. Besides a few inappropriate comments that have spilled out of my mouth which I have realized are connected to my general frusteration with this process, we are not totally falling apart.

Why blog?

Well, besides the fact that all of the cool cats are doing it, why blog and why now? Having been on the adoption journey for eight months now and having spent many, many nights benefitting from the blogging of others, I wanted to contribute in my own small way. While adoption is just one of our passions and interests, it is the only thing that has brought me to the computer night after night searching for answers, timelines, stories and shared experiences of those who are also apart of this journey.

So, let me introduce us! (My husband is still not so sure about the blogging world, and will thus be the fairly silent partner in this venture!). We are R and N residing in the great city of Chicago. N is originally from Eastern Canada where the tides are high and lobster is plentiful. I am from a small town in Arkansas, but always loved to travel and knew that a big city was for me. We both made the move to Chicago in 98, and the rest is history!

N is a high school history teacher and I am a social worker with refugee children and youth. We both passionatly love our work, and have been at it for awhile. Our shared love and passion is Ethiopia; a place we have lived, worked, volunteered and now look forward to continuing our lasting connection through adoption of a child that we know and love.

We love living in Chicago, although anticipate that we will work internationally at some point (first choice ETHIOPIA) should the right opportunity come along! N enjoys biking, running, reading, education for social justice, and coffee roasting and gardening. R enjoys running, Bikram yoga, cute kids, cooking complicated things, having people come over for dinner and figuring out ways to get out of housework.

Our families are spread out all over the world. N's parents are retired and living in Canada. N's sister presently resides in London, but is crazily (ok, I'm just jealous) accepting a post with a NGO in Afghanistan. R's parents live in Indiana, nieces and nephews in New Mexico, brother in Afghanistan and sister finishing law school in Atlanta. We are lucky to have families that are supportive and excited about our upcoming adoption!

Other than trying to find ways to visit Ethiopia all of the time, we spend our days attempting to avoid swine flu (or Mexican influenza, depending on your geographical location), and enjoy the seasons as they come!

Ok. I did it. I made a blog!