A great gift

Y has been home with us for about two and a half months! As I look back over our first weeks together, I realize how each new day brings a greater sense of comfort for all of us. Although we longed to have Y join our family (since August 2008) and we all thought that we "knew" each other well, what we knew that we wanted (to be a family) was still a struggle. We have good days and bad days. We just had a really great week together. She recently said to N "I waited a long time for you to come." She remembers the waiting just like we do. When I am in my most centered moments, I am able to think and remember just how much we longed to be with Y and that brings a greater sense of calmness to what has sometimes felt overwhelming. We longed for her. We want her. It doesn't matter how hard some days are; other days are pure joy! She has a strange sense of emotional maturity that can sometimes make me think she is so much older than she really is; and other times she seems like a baby. Not a toddler, but a tiny baby. I love her age and I am thankful for the fact that God knew what he was doing when Y joined our family. From her outrageously spunky and "up-for-anything" personality (she loves ice skating, sledding, running, smoked salmon and tacquerias) to the fact that she can go to the bathroom mostly by herself, we truly enjoy having a toddler in our family.

As much as we love our little Y as a toddler, sometimes I wonder what she was like as a baby-baby. You know, like before she could walk and talk. We know bits and pieces of her life story. Some days I think she is the luckiest little one alive and other days I wonder why she has had to endure so much in her short human experience. Time will tell how she processes her experiences and what she makes of the world, but for now we are thankful that she seems to be adjusting well. Since we did miss her baby years, we were shocked and so very thankful to receive what we consider to be the most amazing gift of all times. A *wonderful* family from Italy adopted a daughter from Y's orphanage. Like us, they had volunteered in the orphanage and knew the child they were planning to adopt. They had a long journey (also like us) and visited the orphanage many times over the YEARS (ok, not like us) it took them to complete their adoption.

Guess what they gave us? They had been taking pictures of Y for the three years that they had known her...almost her whole life. We received a DVD of over 100 pictures. What a gift. It is something that we will treasure forever. Enjoy some of her cuteness.

It is what it is

Hey Guys!

Small blogging rut going on over here in Chi-town! This post is subtitled "an attempt to just get back on the [blogging] horse." So here goes. It's not pretty, it's not well thought out; it just is.

Shall I start with our dear little Y? Ok, she is seriously the cutest kid ever and doing really wonderful! She is a real joker and loves to play tricks and has a lovely imagination. We love that about her! She is presently obsessed with being a superb sports woman and her interests include tae kwon do (of which we simply make up what appear to me to be "moves") and eating lots of vegetables so that she can be as fast as Usain Bolt. Tonight I asked her if she would like some more carrots and she said "If I eat them, will I be so, so fast like Usain Bolt?" A momma never lies. "Of course!"

Life has had many dips and turns in the past month, the greatest being my "first born child", my office place. I won't go into long and boring details, but things are not going so well at the workplace. Lots of transition, lots of changes and lots of sadness. I'm contemplating my next steps and trying to balance my desire to succeed in my profession with my new life as a mother. Aagh..the balance.

I allegedly start training for a half marathon on Monday. Anyone remember by last attempt in the summer? The world's most awful minor foot problem (plantar fasciatis) overtook me and I was left with no choice but to stop running. I'm so hoping that will not be the case this time around!

In other news: N's parents visited for three weeks, N and I got away for a night, I've cooked a lot lately and we are excited to have some special guests this weekend!

That's the latest and greatest from here! It's 9:10pm. Clearly past my bed time!

Sad news....

It somehow feels personal.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/africa/2010/01/100125_ethiopia_crash_beirut.shtml

Parenting score card

I'm pretty sure every parent has the struggles of wondering if they are good enough for their child. I certainly do. I had lunch with super mom and her kids last week and started the mad comparison game of "why can't I roll more like her?" Super mom (certainly not the title she would give herself, but the one that she totally deserves) has three kids. I have one, but feel like I have three. Super mom remembered to bring 88 snacks in her purse. I forgot all of mine. Super mom's kids politely interacted with both me and my child. My child....ummmmm... Super mom let her kids listen to musical greeting cards while we walked around Target. I just wanted Y to sit in the cart and keep her hands to herself.

You know what I've learned in my six weeks as a parent? I'm super task oriented when it comes to my interactions with Y and I really need to chill the heck out and PLAY more. I'm great at making sure she is only putting healthy food down her mouth (broccoli cake anyone? rather lovely, actually) and that she is always clean and smells great. But I don't usually make games out of putting her shoes on and just sit on the floor and play with her. I really need to do that more. (This may have been some sort of New Years Resolution of mine...)

Cognitively, I know that she connects best when time is directly devoted to her. Not to the food she eats or the clean clothing that she wears. But to her. Oh, the balancing act. Wow. That's the challenge.

On the score card of parenting, I think I need to work harder to increase my score. And I gotta say that the little one is pure (ok, 96.4%) delight right now making things lots happier for all of us. Lots of progress over here.

In other news, I'm back to work and the sky seems to be falling at my office. Not sure how much longer the office will exist, but I will remain for awhile if only to help bring home the (veggie) bacon.

Beauty from Ashes

In January 2001 I was a college Junior right here in the great city of Chicago. I attended Bible college and certainly spent more time socializing and exploring this fascinating city then studying the Bible. I paid for college with a part time gig at Banana Republic and by being a Resident Assistant to a dorm floor. In my job as an RA (remember: Bible college), I spent my time encouraging people to follow the strict dress code, go to chapel, not kiss those of the opposite gender (or same for that matter) and absolutely no dancing!!! The RA cohort would have weekly meetings to discuss pressing RA things (like, really important things that you would most likely not understand). I have fond memories of the relationships that I made during that time and thoroughly enjoyed that phase of my life. As I type this, it genuinely feels like a different lifetime ago. And it many ways it was. I have gained nine years, some pounds and a lot more life experiences.

Since 2001 I've graduated college, lived in Ethiopia x2, gotten married, gotten a job, several apartments, one MSW degree, ran some races, traveled to Ethiopia (x5), Ivory Coast, Romania, Germany, Hungary, Austria, Mexico, Canada (x infinity), been to countless weddings and a few funerals and adopted a child.

Today I'm thinking back to those RA meeting in 01. I'm remembering how our Resident Director and his wife hosted a game night for the RA's and announcing to us that they were adopting from Haiti. They showed us pictures, the rooms that they had created for their children and talked excitedly about building their family through adoption. I was happy for them. I lost track of them over the years and in the meantime did all of those other things like get married. But I would occasionally think of them and was shocked to get back in touch with them several years ago (thanks, Facebook) only to find out that their adoptions were still not finalized. (The children have been living with them for many years now as the family serves as missionaries in Haiti).

You know what happened today? Today the children were finally given visas to enter the US and the adoptions will be finalized! NINE YEARS LATER!!!! And I thought that we had some painful days of waiting.

The tragedy in Haiti is unspeakable and has brought devastation to so many both in Haiti and around the world. This news brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart and I was reminded that beauty can be born of tragedy.

Oh, maternity leave. Please don't go!!

Today marks the beginning of my second full week home (w/o N), or my last week of FMLA. In this situation, I am choosing to go with the sippie-cup half empty approach: this is my last week at home! One week from today I return to the workforce. I so don't want to go.

Wanna know what we did today? Met friends for lunch, went to Target in the middle of the day, rode the escalators a million times (because NO ONE shops at Target midweek) and then came home. Y is sleeping and I just looked up all of the books I want to check out from the library, and decided to make this for dinner. Not what I will be doing a week from today!

Y is finally in a decent rhythm and I feel like I've got my SAHM groove on...

I'm not exactly complaining, just voicing...it's different right? N's mother comes for a three week visit starting on Friday, thus prolonging our need to begin the whole childcare routine. I return to work with a reduced work schedule (30 hours) and different job responsibilities. Both are great for this new Momma, but escalator riding is far more fun! Really six weeks? Are you finished already? Time flies when you travel across the world, become a family, travel back, get sick, have jet lag, celebrate three holidays and get head lice!

A future in drama?

Seriously, who taught her this stuff????