The BIG Giveaway--5 Days remaining!

What? You think I'm being annoying with all of my Facebook/Email and Blog updates regarding our giveaway? You haven't seen anything yet! With five days remaining, my annoying-ness is about to go to be taken to a totally different level! Come on, my friends! Click here and go to the "donate" button. Your donation will enter you into our giveaway which includes AMAZING prizes!

5.DAYS.LEFT

Our move to ETHIOPIA---a RAFFLE!

My good friend is sponsoring an amazing raffle for us as we raise money for our work in Ethiopia. Check it out here

We are moving---so buy my Ethiopian stuff!

(Lemons and my fingers not included)
So, I'm not ebay savvy, and I JUST figured out paypal! But I want to unload a bit of Ethiopian stuff that I have collected over the years. Here is the first item, and I have six of them. Shoot me a comment or email if you would like to buy one!

Handmade Gambella Baskets made by the Anuak of Ethiopia! $15 and shipping is included!

We are moving to ETHIOPIA!

Yup!

Uh huh! It's so for real, we can hardly believe it! We are really and truly moving to Ethiopia!

Back Story:
I first worked in Ethiopia in 2002 after completing undergrad. I worked in a refugee camp with Sudanese refugees. This was my first real exposure to Ethiopia directly, and certainly it was a period of time in my life that shaped me so much! My first experience in life of living alone was in Ethiopia! Crazy, huh? Nathan and I were dating at the time, and he came to visit me. After a day long bus ride that included chickens, goats, three people to a seat and death defying turns through the highlands, we finally made it to Addis. That evening he proposed (Feb 13, 2003---Because Valentines Day is soooo obvious).

I left Ethiopia in July 2003 and we got married in September 2003. Nathan started grad school soon after and I started my work at World Relief. We kept thinking that one day we would return to work in Ethiopia and always hoped that it would be sooner rather than later. We returned to Ethiopia in 2004 to check out a few projects in hopes that something would work out for us to return, but alas the timing was not meant to be.

Fast forward through Nate's whole grad school program and the first few years of mine, and we found ourselves again in Ethiopia during the summer of 2008 as I completed my field work for my Masters of Social Work. We had a wonderful summer, including meeting the child that would eventually become our daughter in Dec of 2009. Having Yitayal only strengthened our desire to return to Ethiopia one day to work for a longer period of time.

And we we searched for jobs. Nate interviewed in international schools, I talked with people in refugee work, but nothing really seemed to work out. I was offered a position in a remote place that wouldn't allow me to bring my family, and Nate was liked in many places but no positions were ever open at the right time. And so we tabled the idea and tried to move on.

Then, one day it all kinda came together. I can't really explain it better than that! An opportunity arose that would allow both Nathan and I to have fulfilling work all for the same organization. And so we had several interviews on Skype, flew to Philadelphia for a weekend long interview and were eventually offered positions to manage a children's home in Soddo, Ethiopia.

We plan to leave in July 2011---the next few months are going to be freaking insane! We are thrilled for so many reasons---a fulfillment of a long-time dream, working and living in Ethiopia, doing work that is professional fulfilling, and having the opportunity to get to know our daughters birth country in a more personal way. We will be working for an organization called Aerie Africa, and have come to really love the work they are doing.

We will work and live at a home for children (yes, some call homes like this "orphanages") and will provide management and oversight to the home and to the US based Board of Directors. As a social worker, I am primarily interested in the psychological adjustment and well being of the kids and really look forward to collaborating with the staff to ensure that we are doing the best job possible to provide a loving and supportive (albeit institutionalized) home for the kids.

So, that's the news, y'all! We are pumped! Maybe I'm just a little bit nervous. You know, packing all of those boxes, leaving my job, selling our stuff, etc. The next few months will be a total whirlwind of activity! If you are interested in providing any financial support, please check this out (including a rationale of why we need the support). Thanks for reading!

The force of family

(no clue who took this pic, so sorry for stealing it!)
Two weeks ago we drove to Atlanta to attend the memorial service for my Aunt Jeanette who battled cancer for 18 years. 18 years.

Two weeks before that I spoke with many of my cousins and siblings. The conversations went something like this:
"So, things don't look very good with Aunt Net, do they?"
"I think this really is the end."
"Do you think you will make it to Atlanta?"
"Probably not. I have school/work/family obligations and it is a 12 hour drive/$450 flight."

On Feb 11th we got the news that she had passed. On Feb 26th, 27 out of 33 family members gathered together to celebrate her life. (And the missing members had some darn good reasoning for missing, including pending surgery and overseas deployment). And what a celebration it was.

There really is something good and healing about crying together and laughing together with people who know you well. I grew up having very close relationships with my extended family, but distance has certainly made our times together limited. And we are all very different now. (Let's not begin to talk about politics or how we practice our faith. Things could get messy).

But as we shared memories together about our Aunt and who she was in our life and in this world, a closeness and intimacy still existed between us all. The seven-layer Mexican dip is always a staple, as is story/sharing time. It's cheesy and sometimes forced these days, but also familiar and comfortable.

Attending the memorial together and spending the weekend with my family unleashed a sense of grief that I wasn't even aware that I had. I told N on Saturday, after spending hours crying at the service (um, yes the service was hours long. That's just how my family roles), that I didn't even feel like it would be possible to return to work the next week. I just felt too sad and overwhelmed. I did return and that heaviness did begin to leave the following week, but it was a reminder to me that when you take time to grieve, it can be all consuming. And so I think that I hadn't really allowed myself the chance to grieve in the earlier weeks simply because it was too hard and because it was easier not to feel anything and not to remember. It took hearing stories, being with people who knew her and looking at pictures to remember all of the things that I loved about my Aunt. And to be reminded of all the pieces that made her who she was OTHER than just a Cancer patient/survivor/victim.

Family Photos

We took these in October and I am FINALLY posting them now! Maybe I should order some before she turns five, huh???? Thanks to Megan for her mad skillz!

The World Can Wait!

Chicago isn't exactly as cool as THE city that never sleeps, but it does feel like a pretty busy place! Yesterday was a welcome gift as our snow finally amounted to something so extreme that the city has actually shut down. Y is out of school, N is out of school, and I am off work. This is better than Christmas (seriously, since I had to work on that day)!

There is something kind of peaceful about knowing that you can't do anything.

We can't go to work, go visit with friends, go grocery shopping.

Nope

With all due respect to those who have been without power, I am loving this magical mid-week gift!

Six months later....

Yup. It's been six months since I last posted. Doh. I don't think busy can be an excuse when you go that long. Want some updates? Here goes:

Y did indeed turn 4, and then she went to school. She loves going to pre-school and we LOVE that she loves going. Getting out the door in the morning is hard enough, I can't imagine what it would be like if she didn't like the destination. She goes five days per week for six hours each day. It's a lot, I know. But they nap and snack and play and have "center time" and she loves it. Guess how many Ethiopian kids are in her class? Eight. And the majority of the other students are also from Africa, so it is just lovely.

When people ask if we like her school, I usually say this: when I go to pick her up from class, I love that I have to do a bit of searching for her in the room. The kids all wear uniforms and all but one of the 18 have brown skin. I L-O-V-E that I don't walk in and immediately see my child surrounded by white faces. I love that when she talks about wanting to look like the other girls, that it is usually a matter of which hair style they have (long braids, short braids, Afro) and not about the long flowing hair that she sees in other places (and wishes for).She will have many times in her future when we cannot control who she is around and how they respond to her. For now, we can control the school that she attends and we love where we have landed. Most importantly, she loves it also!

The update is this: She's happy, so we are happy!

She's 4!

Y woke up on Tuesday stretched her arms and proclaimed "I'm four. I'm bigger!" (and according to her Dr today, she has grown 2 inches since Jan! Still no poundage...)

Wow....is it really possible that we have a four year old? No longer a baby, or a toddler, but a real live preschooler! (Who is starting preschool in a mere two weeks! Still gotta get the 'ol Catholic School uniform...Aagh!) Let me repeat that; I am a parent to a preschooler! Sure, we always said that she was a preschooler last year, but let's be real, that was like, uber preschool. This is for real!

Leading up to her birthday, I have been feeling very nostalgic. Partly it's the "I missed XXX amount of time in your life and don't want to miss more" And that is certainly true. But I think I have also been trying to make sense of who she was before we knew her and who she is becoming, and wondering how the two connect. Has she always been this smart? Has she always loved candy? Has she always been this active? Has she always had a sense of humor? What parts of her have been influenced by her growing up environment, her transitions and now her arrival to what is now called "home?" Of course much of this will remain a mystery. But I think part of the adoption experience, both for the child and parents, is attempting to put the pieces together and meaning make. I've certainly been doing that lately.

I'm trying to put together the years of her life (YEARS!) that we all lived without knowing each other; and then the (YEARS!) that we lived while knowing each other, but not living together as a family. I'm thinking about how hard it must have been for her, even subconsciously so, to have changed caregivers a minimum of four times in her little life (not accounting for the change of workers within those homes). Or how scary it must have seemed when N told her he would come back for her, but then it took sooo long. What does she think about that? Does she think that people come and go, or does she realize that this time it is forever?

I guess only time will show how she processes all of these experiences and moments; how all of us process our memories. But I do know that the memories that we shared for her fourth birthday, or "her first birthday home" will be remembered by us for a long time. Friends, pinatas, cakes, cupcakes, bowling, injera, vbs....it doesn't get much better than that!

We love you sweet Y! Happiest of Happy Birthdays!

7 months Beteseb!

Want a life update from us? Here goes! We have been a family for seven months now, and I gotta say that it occasionally feels like it has been forever. Memories of the struggles of the early days are beginning to fade and a new sense of overall comfort pervades our household. Perhaps it has something to do with a much less stressful job on my part, and a summer vacation from school for N, but a rhythm finally seems to have arrived! Here are some updates:

Language: Of course I think Y is a freaking genius, but you would too! We are sometimes shocked at how well she is speaking! She made her first compound sentence last week and N and I both clapped at her accomplishment! Referring to her quesadilla, she said "I like it, but it is hot." While her English is going insane, our family continue to speak our own half private language which is a good mixture of Amharic and English and just plain made up words. (Like, what's the word for snowman in Amharic? For us, we combined the word for "ice" b/c snow doesn't exist, and added "person"). Voila! She is around fluent Amharic speakers at least once or twice a week, and certainly still understands fully. However, her speaking courage has gone down and that is a bit sad to see. :(

Health: On the outside, she has been so very healthy, we can't even believe it! Not even a sick day in all of her seven months! However, she hasn't gained ANY weight since being home. Not a kilo! We found out awhile ago (maybe Feb) that she had Giardia, and after some tests again in June, concluded that despite the meds, it persisted! Argh! Hopefully it is gone now and she will hit 30lbs before my 30Th birthday on the 8Th! :) She just completed her third and final major dental work appointment. After starting the process for dental surgery in Jan, we were finally able to figure things out with insurance to do multiple outpatient appoinments. Her mouth now shines bring with seven caps and three fillings! She is obsessed with dental hygiene now that she knows what can happen if she isn't brushing, and loves to ask people if they have teeth problems and go to the dentist also!

Sleeping: This remains our greatest challenge, both for her sake as well as N and I. She is taking a nap in the afternoon now and is usually ok with falling asleep on her own once we have read a story or two. But the evening routine is another story. After reading books and singing songs, either N or I need to lie with her until she falls asleep. This can range from 30 mins to 2 hours, depending on the night. I think this has been a struggle for both N and I due to not being able to have free time together in the evening, or simultaneously talk to dinner guests, friends etc. What usually ends up happening on the long nights (perhaps twice per week) is that N or I just fall asleep in her room. Yes, sleeping is indeed our greatest and most life altering struggle and something that improves one week and is a challenge the next. But in the words of the world's greatest boy band NKOTB: we are "hangin tough!"

General: Our little one is off the wall cute! She is so full of life and loves to dance, sing and now has a vibrant imaginary arsenal of friends (Haile and Hanita, as they are known to her)! I think she is more and more comfortable with each passing day and loves to be with friends and run at the park. For me, motherhood love hasn't come easy. Don't get me wrong, I love my child...but loving my new role as a mother has taken some time. As I have written before, our first few months were so, so tough. On her, on me, on us! It felt like mommy-fail all day long and I didn't really know anyone in a similar adoption situation who could assure me that "this too shall pass." But you know what? It has passed! For the most part, multiple hour long tantrums have subsided and Y's affection is a bit more evenly distributed between N and I. Things are good. Our family is so far from perfect, but I am so thankful that we are so much farther along now than we were 7 months ago!

Our little patriot?

We have our own little "wavin flag" going on over here. Y is obsessed with what is now the World Cup theme song, and has written her own lyrics including such epic lines as "when I get older, I will drink bunna (coffee)." When she saw this Canadian flag at her Great Grandparents house, she seized it and has insisted on running around waving in for days, to the pride of her Canadian relatives. Don't be jealous that we have such a super cute kid! Seriously!

Cuteness Abounds in Chicago!

Head over here to see it!

'Round here

(My pictures don't match the post, but here is a description! 1. I went to Prague to visit a wonderful friend and had an amazing time! 2. Y has spent lots of time with extended family lately and loves it! 3. Hark! We have a 2nd family photo! Y wants to make sure you understand that she is almost 4 years old...I think that is why she is holding up her fingers! :)


Remember all of those changes I talked about? Wow! They are feeling pretty big right now! After 7 pretty amazing years of working with refugee children and families, I left my job last Friday (check this out). It was sad and heartbreaking, but also time for a new challenge. For me, change is tough and leaving my job also felt like leaving my community and leaving work that has not only been fulfilling, but a true joy to participate in. And for better or for worse, so much of my identity over the last few years has been built on the work that I do. It is easy to idealize everything now and say that all of my years at WR were blissful; they weren't and I know that. But it sure is hard to let go of something as unique and truly meaningful as refugee resettlement and my colleagues are truly wonderful and amazing people.

Leaving one job means finding another! I am so thankful "in this economy" (to use the overly annoying phrase) to have had some options! Thankfully social workers are in demand (too bad the pay doesn't follow!) and I was able to choose something that works well with family life. Here it is....drum roll please....I am totally changing fields from international human rights work to providing counseling services to mothers who are making an adoption plan for their child. Yup, I know. It's totally different. Call it counter transference, but I was truly curious when I saw the opportunity and am really looking forward to diving into this field (for awhile......). Given my experience with adoption, I think I just have a real passion for making sure that birth mothers have options that are ethical and plans that are presented in a compassionate manner and thorough way. I really enjoy counseling and am excited to continue to do this with a new population. The agency I am working with does domestic adoptions (and international home studies) with women mostly from the Chicago area. I'm only on week one, but I am finding the training to be intense and stretching.


A change for me means a change for Y since she was going to preschool at WR. We are really lucky to have a wonderful (Ethiopian!) babysitter who will be watching her for the next few weeks as well as some of July until Nathan finishes school. She will hang out with N most of the summer and then start a preschool/daycare in late August. She seems to be happy, so that of course makes us happy!

What else can I say? The sun is shining and summer weather just makes life better! Here's hoping I get back into an exercise routine with this lovely weather. Here's hoping this is my last stream of conscious blog post. Here's hoping you report back to me on how YOUR life is going! :)

Change is in the air!

It feels like Spring in Chicago today! Sunny, and the breeze is blowing! A nice day to think about all that is going on! So many changes on the horizon: I have a new job (more info to come soon) Y is getting taller (finally) and has a new school (yikes!!!!), N is about to finish another school year and be home for the summer, and things are just generally good! I know that I haven't blogged in forever, and what's a blog without pictures? I promise to post very soon telling more about what is going on, including my new job (did I mention already that I have one??) and some fun summer plans!

I think I MIGHT be getting back into the blogging world? The jury is still out! :)

Our day(s)

I'm eating Mac n'Cheese while I listen to the sounds of my little one laugh with her bestie and frenemy (half friend/half enemy) from Eritrea. They are screaming and laughing and Y is trying to teach him how to sing a K'naan song. They are running around like mad and kinda making me a little bit crazy, but they are happy so I don't really mind!

This is my new life. It is hard and good.

The lack of blogging speaks to the lack of free time. Which is also hard, but good.

My new love interest

Seriously, I can't get enough of this man.

His smoky salsas.

His rich moles.

Mouth watering guacamole.

This man was made for him; and I for him.

Here's to you Rick Bayless

I checked out this amazing cookbook (and I am providing you a direct link to Amazon so that you can get your own) from the library last week and I can't stop making his food. Yes, you may know him from Top Chef Masters, but he was actually famous in Chicago long before that. His restaurants have seriously long lines, but are seriously delicioso. Even the Obamas love him. (And if he is good enough for Michelle and Barack, he is good enough for me)This man keeps it real on Public TV every week with a lovely cooking show. He is a bit quirky (and don't get me started about how strange his daughter is....weird), but his food stands alone.

Hurry up and make some of his food. Do it. You won't be sorry! First this, then head over to my friend's blog for another good recipe and then spend hours googling all of the other recipes you can find from Rick Bayless. Love him.

Chi-town fun!

Basking in the Oprah glow

I've lived here for twelve years.
I've eaten the pizza
I've had drinks on the 95th (Hancock)
I've run the marathon
I've watched the river turn green
What was missing?
Attending an Oprah show taping, of course
It was a blast. While we were standing in line to get in we all talked about how we weren't really even that big of fans. Funny how we all acted star struck and stood up and screamed (yes, it's true. I stood up and screamed) when she came out. I screamed double when we got free $400 phones (which I plan to sell on Ebay).

It was fun. Chicago is getting warmer and thus more fun! Spring has not yet sprung, but I'm beginning to think it is possible.

A great gift

Y has been home with us for about two and a half months! As I look back over our first weeks together, I realize how each new day brings a greater sense of comfort for all of us. Although we longed to have Y join our family (since August 2008) and we all thought that we "knew" each other well, what we knew that we wanted (to be a family) was still a struggle. We have good days and bad days. We just had a really great week together. She recently said to N "I waited a long time for you to come." She remembers the waiting just like we do. When I am in my most centered moments, I am able to think and remember just how much we longed to be with Y and that brings a greater sense of calmness to what has sometimes felt overwhelming. We longed for her. We want her. It doesn't matter how hard some days are; other days are pure joy! She has a strange sense of emotional maturity that can sometimes make me think she is so much older than she really is; and other times she seems like a baby. Not a toddler, but a tiny baby. I love her age and I am thankful for the fact that God knew what he was doing when Y joined our family. From her outrageously spunky and "up-for-anything" personality (she loves ice skating, sledding, running, smoked salmon and tacquerias) to the fact that she can go to the bathroom mostly by herself, we truly enjoy having a toddler in our family.

As much as we love our little Y as a toddler, sometimes I wonder what she was like as a baby-baby. You know, like before she could walk and talk. We know bits and pieces of her life story. Some days I think she is the luckiest little one alive and other days I wonder why she has had to endure so much in her short human experience. Time will tell how she processes her experiences and what she makes of the world, but for now we are thankful that she seems to be adjusting well. Since we did miss her baby years, we were shocked and so very thankful to receive what we consider to be the most amazing gift of all times. A *wonderful* family from Italy adopted a daughter from Y's orphanage. Like us, they had volunteered in the orphanage and knew the child they were planning to adopt. They had a long journey (also like us) and visited the orphanage many times over the YEARS (ok, not like us) it took them to complete their adoption.

Guess what they gave us? They had been taking pictures of Y for the three years that they had known her...almost her whole life. We received a DVD of over 100 pictures. What a gift. It is something that we will treasure forever. Enjoy some of her cuteness.

It is what it is

Hey Guys!

Small blogging rut going on over here in Chi-town! This post is subtitled "an attempt to just get back on the [blogging] horse." So here goes. It's not pretty, it's not well thought out; it just is.

Shall I start with our dear little Y? Ok, she is seriously the cutest kid ever and doing really wonderful! She is a real joker and loves to play tricks and has a lovely imagination. We love that about her! She is presently obsessed with being a superb sports woman and her interests include tae kwon do (of which we simply make up what appear to me to be "moves") and eating lots of vegetables so that she can be as fast as Usain Bolt. Tonight I asked her if she would like some more carrots and she said "If I eat them, will I be so, so fast like Usain Bolt?" A momma never lies. "Of course!"

Life has had many dips and turns in the past month, the greatest being my "first born child", my office place. I won't go into long and boring details, but things are not going so well at the workplace. Lots of transition, lots of changes and lots of sadness. I'm contemplating my next steps and trying to balance my desire to succeed in my profession with my new life as a mother. Aagh..the balance.

I allegedly start training for a half marathon on Monday. Anyone remember by last attempt in the summer? The world's most awful minor foot problem (plantar fasciatis) overtook me and I was left with no choice but to stop running. I'm so hoping that will not be the case this time around!

In other news: N's parents visited for three weeks, N and I got away for a night, I've cooked a lot lately and we are excited to have some special guests this weekend!

That's the latest and greatest from here! It's 9:10pm. Clearly past my bed time!

Sad news....

It somehow feels personal.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/africa/2010/01/100125_ethiopia_crash_beirut.shtml